uncurtained | pc catchall for junpei (crashout)

[She listens to all of this, even if she starts feeling more nervous the more time goes on. The way she looks at him is horrified, thought not necessarily by him - still...]

Wait, so you mean he...?

Died, yeah. [He lets go of her hand, bringing it closer to his own body.] The injection hit immediately and I left him behind to take what was important to me and escape.

[There's a lot here.]

Even though you told him that you'd work with him...?

[It's clear she's struggling with this, even as she takes another breath.]

I mean - what if there was another solution than getting the X-Passes?

At the time, there wasn't. We didn't realize there was until we learned to SHIFT. If it makes you feel better, he remembered that history when he SHIFTed and killed me when we did a redo.

[He knows it's something that's probably terrifying to normal people.] ...it was a defensive move on both of our parts, even though I'm the one who started it. But like I said...at the time, I thought we'd both do whatever was necessary to protect the people we cared about the most.

...Of course it doesn't. Why would that make me feel better?

[She takes a breath.]

Who was it?

We figured it out eventually and got out of the room with all of us alive. It just took some time. [He's stalling, apparently, because he answers that and instead eyes the pillow he's leaning against.]

For Carlos, it was his sister. And for me, it was Akane.

[She's not sure that really makes it alright for either of them, but... She moves on all the same, blinking.]

Who's Akane?

[...and he rolls over to bury his face in the pillow, but even muffled the answer is clear.]

...she's my fiancée. Technically speaking.

...Oh.

[She looks obviously thrown by that for a moment, pulling away slightly, before:]

I mean, not that it changes this... [Since he would have had to sleep with someone anyways.] But - technically speaking?

[Still into the pillow, and still expecting Beck to kick him out in five minutes:] I put the ring on the wrong hand and we never got around to fixing it in the current timeline. We said we would when we escaped.

[...well. Time to reveal he's a liar.] Akane is why I went to Dcom in the first place, and she's why I spent the last year being a detective.

Edited 2019-10-16 06:06 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure that still counts.

[...]

I'm happy for you. But - you know you could have told me, right?

[He doesn't reply immediately. ]

It's complicated.

[After a moment:]

Okay, but how?

Beck...[It's a warning tone that says he really doesn't want to talk about it, but not enough to completely discourage her if she wants to try.]

[After a moment:]

...Okay. Never mind.

[...now he kind of feels bad.]

...I didn't lie to you before. When I said I've never dated.

...You don't have to justify it or anything. It's just - not what I expected.

[A puff of laughter, but it fades fast.] Carlos didn't expect it either.

[...] Akane is...a very complex person who sacrifices a lot for what she believes she has to do. [...he wanted to try and explain, but no, talking about Akane is still a strange subject.] I love her. I'll do whatever it takes to keep her safe and stay at her side. But there are also parts of her I hate for what she's done.

[And then, to re-quote himself:] Like I said. Learning that a person you loved and cared about isn't the person that you thought they were is probably one of the worst things to deal with because you still want to love and care about them, but you can't really be sure if you're loving the real thing or not.

Edited 2019-10-17 05:50 (UTC)

[There's another noticeable hesitation before she speaks.]

What did she do?

[He doesn't reply. He can't even really figure out words because explaining the Nonary Game and the morphogenetic field and the way Akane orchestrated so much and the year after that is...exhausting. His entire expression drops into something that can really only be described as sad and a little angry before he shakes his head. Even thinking about it, it comes to the same thing: there are some things that will hurt for a long time, but unconditional love is a really, really strong thing.

It's why, in a way, he still feels he has to protect this girl who isn't even here. Keep her safe. Keep her secrets.]

I can't talk about this right now.

...Okay, but the thing is, you’ve kind of said a lot about it. So - we don’t have to talk about it, but I don’t exactly have a good idea of where the line is. Do you want me to just not ask?

I don't know. A lot happened last year after I saw her again and a lot happened after I lost her again when she ditched us in Nevada.

[He rolls over onto his back to look at the ceiling.] ...Carlos, Akane and I played the Decision game before Carlos and I woke up here. We were locked in a bomb shelter and had to find a way out. But that wasn't the first time I played a game like that. Akane was there, too.

Does that help?

Edited 2019-10-17 06:28 (UTC)

...I don't want to sound like I don't care, because I do, but - not really? I mean, you said you couldn't talk about it, but now you're talking about it more. I don't know if you want me to change the subject or ask more, or...

[She doesn't sound upset as much as confused.]

[He's not offended or anything but he's a little lost and decides maybe he's really not in a position to do this right now.]

...no, it's not...you're doing fine. [An awkward laugh follows, low and unsure.] I feel like such an asshole for doing this, but I think I need to go for a while.

...Yeah, okay. I'll see you later.

[She's doing her best not to sound hurt, and it's at least mostly successful.]

(no subject)

crashout - 2019-10-20 05:03 (UTC) - Expand