[She is talking to a man with terrible kinks who sticks his nose into dead people's mouths without blinking and sleeps in a pile of dirty laundry on the floor.]
That's fine! Some of the best stories are a little gross.
Okay, so... I was at one of these parties. Everyone was drinking a lot, you know? And - I know they had food, but I don't remember what it was exactly. It might have been queso, but it wasn't good.
[She laughs.]
So I was talking to this guy, when this girl I barely knew at the time runs up to me, right? It was Peach, and she's like... You have to help me, I don't know where the bathroom is. This party was in, like, a huge house, and she couldn't find one.
[He has no idea what queso is so he can't predict the true horror of what may be coming, but bad food and drinking is synonymous across all space and time, anyway... He's automatically making a sympathetic face.]
Oh, dear... So you had to go help her, then? Did you find the bathroom?
[Which is never the answer you want to hear to the question "did you find the bathroom".]
After, like, the second time we almost walked in on people sleeping together, we decided we were just going to take her outside. I should probably say we were both, like, really drunk at this point. [With a little laugh, despite how it makes her wince:] I had to stand guard by their garden while she... took care of it.
Oh, trust me, that part is absolutely the worst! I had to accept the fact that I'd go broke the next time I wanted to have a good drink long ago. Fortunately, the free alcohol here is a nice touch.
It'd be cool if we could keep just some parts of this place when we leave, right? No rent, free food and drinks... It's a cool living situation if you can ignore about 90% of it.
[He appreciates it... He'll miss hot water and easy hand washing stations so, so much.]
Oh, I do intend on bringing back as many ideas as I can! My world's already embraced more than a few of my inventions, so I can't imagine adding a few more would be any stretch.
Oh, plenty of things! Spirit attraction flags that can draw entities toward the user, a compass that can direct you toward ghouls and other creatures, songs that pass directives to the undead...
[Also a bunch of actual curses and other various blood arts-y type nonsense but she doesn't need to know that... Though he leans forward a little with a tiny twinkle in his demon eye almost conspiratorially, and adds:]
They gave me so much trouble for being unorthodox but used my inventions so readily! That just attests to their usefulness, I guess.
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That's fine! Some of the best stories are a little gross.
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[She laughs.]
So I was talking to this guy, when this girl I barely knew at the time runs up to me, right? It was Peach, and she's like... You have to help me, I don't know where the bathroom is. This party was in, like, a huge house, and she couldn't find one.
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Oh, dear... So you had to go help her, then? Did you find the bathroom?
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[Which is never the answer you want to hear to the question "did you find the bathroom".]
After, like, the second time we almost walked in on people sleeping together, we decided we were just going to take her outside. I should probably say we were both, like, really drunk at this point. [With a little laugh, despite how it makes her wince:] I had to stand guard by their garden while she... took care of it.
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Anyway he's also laughing because he's terrible and this is a funny story. RIP in rest, poor garden bathroom soul.]
My! What a noble thing, acting as her guard. I'm sure she was grateful to you for that!
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I know they always say death, but I think puke is the great equalizer.
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[That. Who says that. WHO SAYS THAT.]
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[just wondering!]
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[So, maybe. Maybe.]
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[She's. Probably been able to see that, considering how often he drinks and how infrequently he even seems tipsy.]
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[Hangovers are The Worst.]
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Right? It's a skill I'm proud to have! Wish I could share it with everyone else, honestly.
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[The real concerns.]
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[One of the only nice touches...]
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It'd be cool if we could keep just some parts of this place when we leave, right? No rent, free food and drinks... It's a cool living situation if you can ignore about 90% of it.
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[Going back to life in 200 AD is going to be......... rough.]
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[Her sympathy runs deep.]
Well, maybe you could invent it, now that you've had it here.
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Oh, I do intend on bringing back as many ideas as I can! My world's already embraced more than a few of my inventions, so I can't imagine adding a few more would be any stretch.
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[There's a curious tone in her voice as she shifts on the bed so she's sitting cross legged.]
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[Also a bunch of actual curses and other various blood arts-y type nonsense but she doesn't need to know that... Though he leans forward a little with a tiny twinkle in his demon eye almost conspiratorially, and adds:]
They gave me so much trouble for being unorthodox but used my inventions so readily! That just attests to their usefulness, I guess.