uncurtained | pc catchall for wei wuxian (givethemhell)

Good thing we've arrived, in that case! We'll be able to arrange a great toast. Ah, maybe we'll find our farm, too?

[There's just a wholeass farm locked away on this ship.]

First we thought it was a hotel, now we think it's a boat, next we'll discover it's actually a farm... The mystery continues.

[After a second of mock-serious thought:]

You know, you might be on to something there? We might all be farmers and none the wiser!

Maybe we were brought here because someone really wanted some watermelons. It's all becoming clear now.

[This is exactly how things like the Watermelon Sect happen, Beck!! People shitpost with him and it just keeps going!!]

I see...! A bit of a convoluted plan, but it does seem to have worked quite well for them. I almost feel like I should be impressed?

[As he gracefully shoves another handful of chippies into his dumbass mouth.]

They could have just asked if they had a craving. I bet I could find them on a good sale.

Really? Lucky! You should take me with you the next time you go shopping for them, I can never find anyone who has decent melon sales!

I’ll put a Costco trip on our list, too, then.

[haha]

[Just giving her a curious look...]

Is that a famous melon shop?

[She shakes her head.]

No, it’s like... A really big supermarket where you can get things for cheap if you buy them in bulk.

Huh! I've never heard of anything like that... So you can get a lot of one thing and it's less expensive? Even if you're buying fresh potatoes that haven't sprouted yet?

[Ah yes, living the life of luxury...]

Yeah. They’ve got, like, huge bins of potatoes and a lot of other fruits and vegetables. I bet they’ve got that one you like, the one that grows by the river...?

Loquats?! [HOLY SHIT. COSTCO IS THE PROMISED LAND.] That's amazing! What a wonderful place! The first thing we need to do as a sect is go to Costco!

I will gladly chaperone this field trip.

[CLAPPING HIS HANDS TOGETHER in unabashed delight...]

Excellent! Then I'll promote you to chief officiator of Costco-related business!

[They now have... two sect leaders, one treasurer who only treasures the watermelon, and This.]

[She laughs as she sees his excitement, nodding along.]

My greatest dream, fulfilled.

It's a high post! Lots of responsibility! I can only leave it in the most capable of hands.

[Leaning over a bit to nudge her side with his elbow as if to say HAHA THAT'S YOU.]

It'll be worth it to introduce you all to free samples.

[Wait for it—]

And the huge paycheck, of course.

[A fat paycheck is surely all well and good yes BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY--]

Free samples? You can sample the wares?! What kind - any of them? Do they switch out what you can try? I need to see this for myself!

Not all of them, but they usually have something on every few aisles. I'm pretty sure they switch them out.

[It's like watching a kid in a candy store...]

[He's honestly amazed and delighted by all of this?? COSTCO, HIS NEW HOLY GRAIL.]

That's amazing...! We'll have to go every day to see what they have.

[She can't help but laugh a little.]

You sure you won't get sick of it?

Absolutely not! How could anyone ever get tired of free food?

[HE, PERSONALLY, CANNOT IMAGINE THIS.]

I feel like I should say that it's really, really small portions.

[Just so he isn't envisioning getting free meals.]

How small are we talking? Palm-sized? Half the size of a potato?

[Why is this his unit of measurement...]

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uncurtained - 2019-10-24 03:23 (UTC) - Expand

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givethemhell - 2019-10-24 03:58 (UTC) - Expand