uncurtained | pc catchall for wei wuxian (givethemhell)

Oh! Ah, yes - I see! We have things like that where I come from, they just go by different names.

[Ancient China being out here on the cutting edge.]

Did you ever have parties while you were there? Because that's what this story is about.

Well! We weren't supposed to, but that didn't stop us.

[Some things... truly never change.]

I guess some things never change, no matter how far apart we were.

[She doesn't laugh, but she at least looks amused for a moment.]

Have I ever told you about Peach? She's my best friend.

Haha, right? It's kind of comforting.

[But he'll shake his head at that! The fuck kinda name is peach, damn.]

You haven't! Guessing this particular party story involves her?

Yeah. It wasn't the first time we met, but it was when we first got kind of close, you know?

[...]

Also, um - now that I'm thinking about it, it's kind of gross...?

[hm]

[She is talking to a man with terrible kinks who sticks his nose into dead people's mouths without blinking and sleeps in a pile of dirty laundry on the floor.]

That's fine! Some of the best stories are a little gross.

Okay, so... I was at one of these parties. Everyone was drinking a lot, you know? And - I know they had food, but I don't remember what it was exactly. It might have been queso, but it wasn't good.

[She laughs.]

So I was talking to this guy, when this girl I barely knew at the time runs up to me, right? It was Peach, and she's like... You have to help me, I don't know where the bathroom is. This party was in, like, a huge house, and she couldn't find one.

[He has no idea what queso is so he can't predict the true horror of what may be coming, but bad food and drinking is synonymous across all space and time, anyway... He's automatically making a sympathetic face.]

Oh, dear... So you had to go help her, then? Did you find the bathroom?

We didn't...

[Which is never the answer you want to hear to the question "did you find the bathroom".]

After, like, the second time we almost walked in on people sleeping together, we decided we were just going to take her outside. I should probably say we were both, like, really drunk at this point. [With a little laugh, despite how it makes her wince:] I had to stand guard by their garden while she... took care of it.

[NO IT CERTAINLY IS NOT...

Anyway he's also laughing because he's terrible and this is a funny story. RIP in rest, poor garden bathroom soul.]

My! What a noble thing, acting as her guard. I'm sure she was grateful to you for that!

[With a small smile:]

I know they always say death, but I think puke is the great equalizer.

Well! They do say you don't really know a person until you've had to hold their hair back while they vomit.

[That. Who says that. WHO SAYS THAT.]

...Has that been particularly true in your life?

[just wondering!]

You know how people can be when they're young! You think you're invincible, tend to overestimate your tolerance...

[So, maybe. Maybe.]

Okay, different question. How many times have people had to hold your hair back?

Haha! Only once! [DON'T LOOK SO PROUD.] I have a very high tolerance.

[She's. Probably been able to see that, considering how often he drinks and how infrequently he even seems tipsy.]

I've noticed. You are very lucky in that regard.

[Hangovers are The Worst.]

[He's probably had like 2 in his goddamn life because he's the worst.]

Right? It's a skill I'm proud to have! Wish I could share it with everyone else, honestly.

Imagine how much you'd have to drink if you ever did want to get drunk, though. Think about your liver and your wallet...

[The real concerns.]

Oh, trust me, that part is absolutely the worst! I had to accept the fact that I'd go broke the next time I wanted to have a good drink long ago. Fortunately, the free alcohol here is a nice touch.

[One of the only nice touches...]

[There's a small laugh, even as she nods.]

It'd be cool if we could keep just some parts of this place when we leave, right? No rent, free food and drinks... It's a cool living situation if you can ignore about 90% of it.

Mm, there are some parts of it that are arguably quite enjoyable! I like the electricity and movies and running water, too.

[Going back to life in 200 AD is going to be......... rough.]

Oh, god, I didn't even think about that...

[Her sympathy runs deep.]

Well, maybe you could invent it, now that you've had it here.

[He appreciates it... He'll miss hot water and easy hand washing stations so, so much.]

Oh, I do intend on bringing back as many ideas as I can! My world's already embraced more than a few of my inventions, so I can't imagine adding a few more would be any stretch.

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uncurtained - 2019-11-08 05:23 (UTC) - Expand

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givethemhell - 2019-11-08 05:53 (UTC) - Expand