pc catchall for wei wuxian (givethemhell)

[uncurtained]

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[givethemhell]

[He seems pleased by the verdict!]

Good, good - I'm glad! It's nowhere near as good as my favorite from back home, though. Now that's a rice wine done right.

[uncurtained]

Was it easy to get in the mountain where you lived?

[She hands the bottle back to him as she asks.]

[givethemhell]

[Haha, ah.... He takes a hearty sip.]

Mm, not really. I couldn't get to Gusu easily from Yiling!

[HE COULDN'T GET ANYWHERE BECAUSE HE WAS A PARIAH.]

It was a real shame. That's one of the things I missed most about it! No other place I've ever been makes wine as good as Emperor's Smile.

[uncurtained]

And I guess you didn't have easy delivery systems worked out by then... God, that's the worst.

[There's definitely a sympathetic wince here.]

[givethemhell]

I know! No Costcos in Gusu! Ah, well. I'll be changing that once I get back.

[Can't believe Wei Wuxian is the founding father of Costco in 200 AD China.]

[uncurtained]

Do I get a cut of the profits for giving you the idea?

[it begins anew]

[givethemhell]

Of course you do! All profits will go directly to our sect.

[He's taking the whole concept of the watermelon sect back with him to his own world, which will most certainly not get his ass kicked by thousands of angry cultivators.]

[uncurtained]

I feel like I should get an increased percentage.

[givethemhell]

Hm... You'll have to submit an official requeset to our treasurer!

[Nikkari, the treasurer whose only job is to treasure the melons.]

[uncurtained]

[...]

Who's our treasurer, again?

[she has a deep respect and appreciation for this sect clearly]

[givethemhell]

[WAVES A HAND IN BECK'S DIRECTION Beck, your sect members!!!]

Nikkari, it's Nikkari! Goodness. Your memory is just as bad as our - oh... What title did we give Higekiri again?

[GOD THEY'RE BOTH TERRIBLE.]

[uncurtained]

[She shoves at his shoulder.]

Record keeper. Whose memory is going, exactly?

[givethemhell]

I have a bad memory! I'm old and only getting older!

[He just had a birthday, he's practically crumbling to dust??]

[uncurtained]

Senile...

[CRUEL]

[givethemhell]

Don't be mean to your elders.

[HE'S TIRED AND OLD.]

[uncurtained]

Of course. I’m the grasshopper, right?

[He’s not going to understand that, but he’s going to understand it even less when she calls him Mr. Miyagi.]

[givethemhell]

[Yeah he's. He's just giving Beck a look.]

--Are grasshoppers mean to the elderly where you come from?

[uncurtained]

...Yes.

[NO]

[givethemhell]

[He absolutely does not believe this for a hotass second but he's gonna roll with it anyway because he likes the idea of it, GOD.]

I see... Hop in front of them while they're trying to cross a busy road to trip them up, hm?

[uncurtained]

Uh huh. Regular old agents of chaos.

[just also grasshoppers]

[givethemhell]

The future actually sounds like a dangerous place! Rude grasshoppers, everything wheeled can kill you...

[He'll still visit but only for Beck and Costco.]

[uncurtained]

Oh, no. Who told you that second part?

[It's not wrong, but!!]

[givethemhell]

That's just been my own personal experience.

[HE HASN'T EVEN GOTTEN ON THE SCOOTER YET, HE'S JUST TALKING ABOUT THE HEELIES THAT ALMOST TOOK HIS LIFE.]

[uncurtained]

Well, you don't need to be scared of them. They're pretty awesome.

[givethemhell]

That's going to have to be something I see first before I believe it!

[And then the segway is used in a murder proving once and for all that wheeled things from the future are dangerous.]