Smart, attractive, and brave girls? Yeah. Wow. Why would anyone ever want to be with you? [Flatly. Oh so flatly. But he can't help but give her a curious look.] But I get the feeling that's not what you mean.
...but it was fine up until a point, wasn't it? I know it's not my place to ask what you guys were talking about but I'm still not really sure I see how it was something you could've known would happen.
Probably the best thing you can do is apologize when you think he's in a good place to listen. Can't guarantee it'll go well, and if he was that upset it probably won't go anywhere nearly as well as you hope, but worth a try.
He's smart, he's kind... He always does his best, even though things here are hurting him a lot, too. And - he's funny, too. Just - everything, I guess?
[...all good qualities, and he just kind of nods slowly.]
I get it. It's not really hard to see why you'd like someone like that. [...he just kind of stares at the ceiling.] Maybe when this is all over, something can work out. Who knows?
Let's keep working with a no-names policy. Anyway I don't...know. It's not like I'm not hooking up with a bunch of people here which doesn't help, but...I don't know. I still love Akane and I always will in spite of everything, but with all of the different versions of myself that I remember and the fact that she's not here I'm starting to wonder if it's this place or if it was inevitable.
[He looks at the ceiling again.] I also think Akane would get it which is maybe the stupidest part.
No, it's not that. I still want to marry her, I know that much. But...we're also from a timeline where we're technically not actually engaged. We just remember the timeline where we were and promised to be. There's still a lot left to do before we can even think about getting married.
[Like stopping a nuclear war. But...]
I don't know if it would have, but that might've been because I know myself. I wouldn't have tried to find other people. Even in the timeline she made me forget, I know I would've spent my entire life looking for her. [A pause.] But I don't think that stopped either of us from hitting on someone else so who knows.
Well... Flirting with other people is one thing, but it sounds like you know you wouldn't be unfaithful if you weren't in this kind of situation, right? And - you also said you think she would get it.
[And, given all that:]
If you're feeling bad about it, I don't think you need to.
I don't think I'd have a reason to be as long as she was with me, or I had the idea I might find her again. But unfaithful, I mean. Not without her knowing, but Akane sort of always knows anyway. [He taps his temple with two fingers.] It's shut off but we used to have a mind link, I guess. I never really knew how much she knew about me without telling me.
[...but.] That helps though. It's one thing for Akane to flirt with Carlos, but I wasn't really sure where to put this sort of thing on a scale, you know?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
uncurtained) wrote2019-10-04 08:24 am
no subject
no subject
I know how this is going to sound, but.. People like the person I’m thinking of don’t end up with people like me.
no subject
no subject
[But...]
I just... He’s going through a lot, and I think I just make it worse every time I try to help.
no subject
no subject
[She sighs.]
Seriously, he sank down onto the floor in the middle of talking to me, it was... bad.
no subject
no subject
no subject
...but it was fine up until a point, wasn't it? I know it's not my place to ask what you guys were talking about but I'm still not really sure I see how it was something you could've known would happen.
no subject
no subject
[That's encouraging, but he's being realistic.]
no subject
I mean... We've talked since then, and he hasn't brought it up. I don't really want to rock the boat, you know? I care about his friendship a lot.
no subject
no subject
no subject
I get it. It's not really hard to see why you'd like someone like that. [...he just kind of stares at the ceiling.] Maybe when this is all over, something can work out. Who knows?
no subject
[She pauses, though.]
You sure there wasn't another reason you brought that up?
no subject
...I don't know. I'm pretty sure I'm losing my mind but what else is new?
no subject
[But, all the same:]
Why would you think that?
no subject
no subject
I think it matters more what you do with those feelings. [...] Who?
no subject
[He looks at the ceiling again.] I also think Akane would get it which is maybe the stupidest part.
no subject
[She pauses for a moment, thinking of the best way to respond as she chews on her lip.]
Are you having second thoughts about the engagement, or...?
no subject
[Like stopping a nuclear war. But...]
I don't know if it would have, but that might've been because I know myself. I wouldn't have tried to find other people. Even in the timeline she made me forget, I know I would've spent my entire life looking for her. [A pause.] But I don't think that stopped either of us from hitting on someone else so who knows.
no subject
[And, given all that:]
If you're feeling bad about it, I don't think you need to.
no subject
I don't think I'd have a reason to be as long as she was with me, or I had the idea I might find her again. But unfaithful, I mean. Not without her knowing, but Akane sort of always knows anyway. [He taps his temple with two fingers.] It's shut off but we used to have a mind link, I guess. I never really knew how much she knew about me without telling me.
[...but.] That helps though. It's one thing for Akane to flirt with Carlos, but I wasn't really sure where to put this sort of thing on a scale, you know?