pc catchall for junpei (crashout)

[uncurtained]

IM PUTTING THE TIMON GIF IN HERE LATER YOU CANT BEAT ME

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[crashout]

[He reaches forward, hand gentle as he taps the space at her waist where the tattoo is.]

...little weird, isn't it?

[uncurtained]

[Once she looks down and sees what it is, she pauses again, but...]

Can I go first? I know... what this makes me look like.

[crashout]

[He's not moving his hand so there's that.]

If you want to, sure. [He's a little sleepy and distracted, but also this seems important so he's listening.]

cw drug abuse, addiction

[uncurtained]

Yeah. I mean, I don't want you to think I was doing it just because, or - that there wasn't a reason. First off, he, um... He was an addict.

[That's probably the best place to start, even if she's taking a breath as soon as she says it.]

It meant that things were... really bad, a lot of the time while I was growing up. And one day, when I was 12, I was the only one home, and... I went into the basement because I wanted to play a game, and I found him just - laying there. You know, with a needle in his arm, unconscious. But he made it past that, and for a while, we all really thought... It was going to be okay. That he was going to get better. But, sure enough, he started using again, and then he just - left us after he relapsed. And, I decided that to me, he was dead. That he'd died in that room.

[She has to pause and breath in and out to keep her voice even mostly level, but she follows it up with:]

But I shouldn't have told he was literally dead. It's just - easier to think that, which isn't an excuse.

[crashout]

[Well. Yeah, okay, it's not an excuse but there's nothing really in his face that says he can judge her. He's listening and when she pauses his hand moves to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear. It's probably more openly affectionate than expected, but sometimes people do well with gestures instead of words.

Mostly because what do you even say to that? "I'm sorry" doesn't sound...like...real.]

...a symbolic death is sometimes more real than an actual death anyway. [Just to start that.] Learning that a person you loved and cared about isn't the person that you thought they were is probably one of the worst things to deal with because...you know. You still want to love and care about them, but you can't really be sure if you're loving the real thing or not.

Maybe a lie like that doesn't really hurt anybody because what's the difference if that person's gone anyway?

[uncurtained]

[There’s a look of surprise as he pushes her hair back. Idly, she reaches up to take his hand.]

Yeah. Or that... Even nearly dying wasn’t enough to get him to choose us. That hurts almost as much.

[Anyways.]

Maybe it doesn’t hurt anyone, but I’m not sure it’s right, either.

[crashout]

[Oh. That's fine then.]

That's something only you can really answer, Beck. Right or wrong can be pretty vague and hard to decide on when it comes to something like that. Or maybe I just don't think it's necessarily wrong. People do what they can to protect themselves. Isn't that what survival is?

[uncurtained]

[After a second, she gives his hand a squeeze, offering a smile.]

Thanks. That's sweet of you to say.

[crashout]

[Now he just looks embarrassed, stop.]

It's nothing. [But he's letting her squeeze his hand even if he doesn't pull back right away.] ...so...guess it's my turn, isn't it?

[uncurtained]

[Her expression says it isn't nothing, but she'll let that go.]

If you want to talk about it.

[crashout]

I don't. [Point-blank.] But we had a deal and I don't like backing out on those if I can help it. [It's why he's usually the one making them. It's easier to set the terms. But in the interest of understand the strange marks, he knows he has to contribute, too.]

...like I said, the AB game was a choice we had to make in the Decision Game. We'd solved a puzzle to get out of the room we were in, but the exit still didn't open. [There's hesitance then.] Our third teammate was knocked unconscious. We'd just learned that Q-Team had been killed. It was just us and D-Team. ...there was another door we hadn't looked in. So Carlos and I went to see what it was, and it was some weird pedestal. Each of us had a screen and the rules were already up when we checked.

"Stand before the monitor and vote to either Ally or Betray. You must vote at the same time. If the timing is off, everyone within the shelter will be executed. Both of you will start with 3 BP. This number will change based on the voting results. If both choose ally, both will gain 3 BP. If both choose Betray, all BP points remain the same. If Carlos chooses Ally and Junpei chooses Betray, Carlos loses 3 BP while Junpei gains 6 BP. If Carlos chooses Betray and Junpei chooses Ally, Carlos gains 6 BP while Junpei loses 3 BP."

[...he still hasn't let go of her hand.] "When either player's BP reaches 9, the exit door will unlock. If your BP drops to 0, you will be executed. The bracelet will administer a muscle relaxant into your bloodstream. In this way, you will at least receive a peaceful death. Beware: others will share the same fate as you. If Carlos dies, Diana and Sigma will die as well." [Another pause.] "If Junpei dies, Akane and Phi will die. Make your choice carefully."

Carlos and I talked about it. What we'd vote for? He brought up the point that if we chose to ally twice, we'd add 6 points to our initial 3 and we'd both get 9 BP. Nobody would die, and we could escape. We knew that Zero was trying to kill us, so...it didn't make sense. We took the time to think about it so we wouldn't mess it up.

[...] Carlos is a good person. We both had people we needed to protect, we couldn't die in that shelter. He said that we needed to ally, and...I agreed. But when we went back into the room I...[Hm.] I told you. To get out of the shelter, we were told we needed six X-Passes for the X-Door to open. With Q-Team dead, we had three already. And by choosing Betray...another three would be obtained.

[He's staring somewhere past her shoulder.] You'd do anything for the person you loved the most, wouldn't you? You'd think most people would. I thought Carlos would have picked Betray, too, for that reason. How was I to know he'd actually be so...trusting?

So. I won that round. [...yay...]

[uncurtained]

[She listens to all of this, even if she starts feeling more nervous the more time goes on. The way she looks at him is horrified, thought not necessarily by him - still...]

Wait, so you mean he...?

[crashout]

Died, yeah. [He lets go of her hand, bringing it closer to his own body.] The injection hit immediately and I left him behind to take what was important to me and escape.

[There's a lot here.]

[uncurtained]

Even though you told him that you'd work with him...?

[It's clear she's struggling with this, even as she takes another breath.]

I mean - what if there was another solution than getting the X-Passes?

[crashout]

At the time, there wasn't. We didn't realize there was until we learned to SHIFT. If it makes you feel better, he remembered that history when he SHIFTed and killed me when we did a redo.

[He knows it's something that's probably terrifying to normal people.] ...it was a defensive move on both of our parts, even though I'm the one who started it. But like I said...at the time, I thought we'd both do whatever was necessary to protect the people we cared about the most.

[uncurtained]

...Of course it doesn't. Why would that make me feel better?

[She takes a breath.]

Who was it?

[crashout]

We figured it out eventually and got out of the room with all of us alive. It just took some time. [He's stalling, apparently, because he answers that and instead eyes the pillow he's leaning against.]

For Carlos, it was his sister. And for me, it was Akane.

[uncurtained]

[She's not sure that really makes it alright for either of them, but... She moves on all the same, blinking.]

Who's Akane?

[crashout]

[...and he rolls over to bury his face in the pillow, but even muffled the answer is clear.]

...she's my fiancée. Technically speaking.

[uncurtained]

...Oh.

[She looks obviously thrown by that for a moment, pulling away slightly, before:]

I mean, not that it changes this... [Since he would have had to sleep with someone anyways.] But - technically speaking?

[crashout]

[Still into the pillow, and still expecting Beck to kick him out in five minutes:] I put the ring on the wrong hand and we never got around to fixing it in the current timeline. We said we would when we escaped.

[...well. Time to reveal he's a liar.] Akane is why I went to Dcom in the first place, and she's why I spent the last year being a detective.

[uncurtained]

I'm pretty sure that still counts.

[...]

I'm happy for you. But - you know you could have told me, right?

[crashout]

[He doesn't reply immediately. ]

It's complicated.

[uncurtained]

[After a moment:]

Okay, but how?

[crashout]

Beck...[It's a warning tone that says he really doesn't want to talk about it, but not enough to completely discourage her if she wants to try.]