pc catchall for wei wuxian (givethemhell)

[uncurtained]

Comments

[uncurtained]

[...]

I may be willing to reconsider if you're sharing those chips.

[givethemhell]

[Pulling the bag open and holding it out for her!]

Lucky for you, I can afford to be extra generous before I become a mountain hermit!

[Again.]

[uncurtained]

Tragic.

[She takes one, popping it in her mouth.]

Hm... These are pretty good. Maybe I'll join the Tostitos sect instead.

[betrayal]

[givethemhell]

[WHY DOES HE CONTINUE BEING HIT BY THESE BETRAYALS.]

After the generosity I've shown!? The worst! Terrible! I've never been so crushed in all my life...!

[uncurtained]

[Spoken as though she's giving him a great compromise, here:]

Okay, okay, I'll join. My only terms are getting to share your drinks.

[The ones he already gets for free. Such a high price!!]

[givethemhell]

[There's a long, drawn out "HMMM..." as he gives this some Very Serious Consideration...

And finally sticks his free hand out toward her.]

Very well! I find those terms amenable. You have yourself a deal!

[uncurtained]

[With a laugh, she reaches out to shake his hand.]

I look forward to our partnership, good sir.

[givethemhell]

[Now she's made a deal with the devil. CONGRATS, BECK.]

Wonderful! The sect will be more than happy to have you on board. We don't have matching outfits for everyone just yet, but we do have plenty of melons leftover!

[uncurtained]

This doesn't seem like the kind of place where you can easily mass produce uniforms.

[But she'll look forward to the watermelons.]

[givethemhell]

Perhaps we'll get fortunate and that's what they'll have behind one of these locked doors! A room full of uniforms just for us.

[Terrible.]

[uncurtained]

[She laughs, brushing a hair back.]

Wow, you figured out the mystery of this place. They were just waiting for the watermelon sect to arrive.

[givethemhell]

Good thing we've arrived, in that case! We'll be able to arrange a great toast. Ah, maybe we'll find our farm, too?

[There's just a wholeass farm locked away on this ship.]

[uncurtained]

First we thought it was a hotel, now we think it's a boat, next we'll discover it's actually a farm... The mystery continues.

[givethemhell]

[After a second of mock-serious thought:]

You know, you might be on to something there? We might all be farmers and none the wiser!

[uncurtained]

Maybe we were brought here because someone really wanted some watermelons. It's all becoming clear now.

[givethemhell]

[This is exactly how things like the Watermelon Sect happen, Beck!! People shitpost with him and it just keeps going!!]

I see...! A bit of a convoluted plan, but it does seem to have worked quite well for them. I almost feel like I should be impressed?

[As he gracefully shoves another handful of chippies into his dumbass mouth.]

[uncurtained]

They could have just asked if they had a craving. I bet I could find them on a good sale.

[givethemhell]

Really? Lucky! You should take me with you the next time you go shopping for them, I can never find anyone who has decent melon sales!

[uncurtained]

I’ll put a Costco trip on our list, too, then.

[haha]

[givethemhell]

[Just giving her a curious look...]

Is that a famous melon shop?

[uncurtained]

[She shakes her head.]

No, it’s like... A really big supermarket where you can get things for cheap if you buy them in bulk.

[givethemhell]

Huh! I've never heard of anything like that... So you can get a lot of one thing and it's less expensive? Even if you're buying fresh potatoes that haven't sprouted yet?

[Ah yes, living the life of luxury...]

[uncurtained]

Yeah. They’ve got, like, huge bins of potatoes and a lot of other fruits and vegetables. I bet they’ve got that one you like, the one that grows by the river...?

[givethemhell]

Loquats?! [HOLY SHIT. COSTCO IS THE PROMISED LAND.] That's amazing! What a wonderful place! The first thing we need to do as a sect is go to Costco!

[uncurtained]

I will gladly chaperone this field trip.