pc catchall for dick (heh) (unpredicktable)

[uncurtained]

shitpost incoming

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[unpredicktable]

Oh, believe me, I don't need a helicopter for my commutes.

[ teleportation technology is wild. ]

You don't even want to know how many bank robberies I've been to. [ it's said lightly but he also doesn't comment on trying something new. a lot of supervillains sure do! and every time! it's bad ]

[uncurtained]

Oh? What do you use, then?

[Here they are! Casino time. She glances back at him as they walk in.]

I’m guessing it gets old fast.

[unpredicktable]

I doubt you guys have them, but-- we've been using zeta beam technology for a while now.

[ wow. they sure are at the casino and you know what those sex statues are still here. he had forgotten. ]

So many villains do it, it kind of keeps it fresh. Is this a normal bank robbery, or am I solving several terrible riddles because the Riddler is back at it again? Step in and find out! [ he breezes past name-dropping a guy who calls himself the fuckin riddler to head to one of the tables and pick up a deck of cards ]

52 pick-up is out, but-- how do you feel about a game?

[uncurtained]

You know that I have to ask about both of those things, right?

[Zeta beams?? Riddlers?? Anyways, she’s fervently ignoring those statues. It’s fine.]

Sounds good. What did you have in mind?

[unpredicktable]

You ever watch Star Trek? It's kinda similar. [ beam him up, Scotty... ] And the Riddler-- Edward Nygma. He's a criminal obsessed with riddles and puzzles. It makes solving his crimes kind of a pain.

[ he thinks about that ]

You know how to play poker?

[ he'd say blackjack but. she has trauma ]

[uncurtained]

—Wait, you can teleport?

[She's moving past the criminal with a weird pattern, because that's So Cool.]

Yep. Are you dealing?

[unpredicktable]

Yeah, pretty much. It's not a public thing, and most of the zeta tubes are in the States, since we don't want to create an international accident, but.

[ at her question he IMMEDIATELY starts shuffling the cards like he's a goddamn stage magician? the flourish is real? ]

Yep. Think you can handle it?

[uncurtained]

That's so cool. Who invented it?

[She can't help but smile, but all the same, teasing:]

Can I handle how much of a showoff you are, you mean?

[unpredicktable]

Dr. Erdel first experimented and came up with the technology back in '55 but it was only implemented as a method of transportation for the League and associates in 2003.

[ dick sounds like he's reciting from his homework, tbh, and then he makes a faux-wounded face ]

Hey, circus kid, remember? I need applause to live, like Tinkerbell.

[ everyone believed that. ]

[uncurtained]

Wow. I'm impressed you've sustained yourself so long without it.

[unpredicktable]

I store it to hibernate. It's the only way I made it through childhood.

[ he does another dramatic card flourish before he starts dealing the cards, of which I know so much about, ]

[uncurtained]

[Poker, a game which I absolutely know the rules for, is sure happening!!]

Maybe you should do another PSA about that.

[unpredicktable]

Revisiting my self-created public embarrassment is cheating.

[ because he said so. Also wow this sure is poker happening. pick cards. say words. I don't even know what they're doing ]

[uncurtained]

Oh? Are there rules now?

[she's looking over her cards while i read this online tutorial about how poker works]

[unpredicktable]

[ there's no such thing as learning in this household ]

Yep. [ shameless? ] And that's rule number one.

[uncurtained]

I’ll await the rest of your rules with baited breath, but I hope you know you’re now obligated to let me introduce my own.

[unpredicktable]

A truly terrifying concept, but it's a deal. [ speaking of deals let's. pretend. they've picked cards? what IS poker. they have hands they should show now? ] Do you fold?

[uncurtained]

No... I think I’ll raise.

[She smiles.]

You?

[unpredicktable]

[ his eyes flicker to his cards for a second before he smiles back and shrugs ]

There are no real stakes, so... Sure.

[uncurtained]

We could always decide on something to bet.

[But, hm.]

I'll raise again.

[unpredicktable]

[ he smirks a bit ]

Yeah? You got something in mind? [ head tilted ] I'll call.