uncurtained | pc catchall for dick (heh) (unpredicktable)

Yeah. Try following my finger with both eyes?

[ this doctor stuff is........ fascinating. i sure am not making most of it up based on doctor tv shows. anyway, he just moves it from side to side in front of her face. ]

[She does that! With one of her eyes. Her other might be following in the same direction on muscle memory, but there's probably something that tells him she can't see from it. I'm too tired to google this, pretend I did some research.]

[ what hte UFCK is a research tbh ]

... Alright. No change since yesterday. Wasn't really expecting any, but... Not a doctor. [ that last part is a bit wry, and he goes into his utility belt because looking over the first aid kit content from the link the mods gave me there are sterile gauze pads in there and they will make a far better makeshift eyepatch until they're ready to give her a real one in like. idk, two days. magic. ]

...Yeah, I remember what you told me.

[Softly, as he works:]

Thanks.

Don't thank me for this. I'd get you to a real doctor if I could. I'm just what you've got to make do with.

[ it's light, and he finishes putting that on with a sigh, stretching up afterwards ]

All done. It's healing alright so far-- no irritation. I got a bit worried when I saw the state of the halberd.

No, I'm pretty sure I'm going to thank you.

[Moving on, though.]

When do they come out?

Head stitches, so... [ he squints a bit in thought ] three to five days, usually.

[ so-- not that bad. ]

Okay.

[She nearly repeats the thanks, just because she's still feeling awkward from before and doesn't quite know what to say - but she doesn't think just leaving like she did a little over a week ago is the right move, either. After a few seconds:]

You must be busy.

[ he blinks, a bit ]

Not anymore than anyone else.

...Okay. As long as I'm not holding you up from anything.

[ he lets out a huff ]

You do know I like hanging out with you, right? [ a beat ] I could do without the injuries, but...

[She gives him a small, hesitant smile.]

Right. I’ll make sure to work on that.

You better.

[ ... and, now to address the elephant in the room-- ]

Look, about... earlier.

...Yeah?

[ nope, that's it, that's all he had, he's looking away and rubbing at the back of his neck ]

...

I-- hold myself to a higher standard than I do other people. That's what I meant.

[ that's, y'know, part of addressing the problem, sure, let's go with that. ]

...I mean, yeah, I’ve realized.

[It’s not said harshly, but it’s clear enough she’s waiting for him to go on.]

[ it's definitely a bit like pulling teeth, there. the silence is long and awkward and when he speaks it's a bit stilted ]

And I, I know there wasn't anything I could've done to stop it [ does he. ] but I-- I still did it. She-- She knew I was going to kill her and she basically had to walk me through it.

[ and then she melted. that was fun. ]

...What do you think would have happened if you hadn’t? What happened to her is horrible, but - I don’t think you refusing would have changed anything.

[Which might not be the point, but.]

Yes, I know, me refusing didn't change anything. [ because he had objected, quite loudly, and then he'd realized how futile it was and that he'd never come back from it, and maybe his voice is getting a wee loud now oh boy bad, and he starts to pace as he talks: ] I get it! It didn't matter that I took a vow, it didn't matter that I didn't kill my parents' murderer, didn't touch the guy who murdered my brother or, or any other bad guy because I don't know where I'd start drawing the line, I had to kill her because I was too stupid to realize the reason she'd framed Tamamo is that she'd used her role to protect her so she wouldn't have died from that. And I had no choice in that circle so I shouldn't blame myself, I get it, everyone keeps telling me, but it doesn't work like that!

[ and after all that, dick breathes harshly for a few second before he deflates, sliding down to the floor and covering his face with his hands. ]

... And now I'm taking it out on you. Awesome.

Hey...

[That's a lot!! But regardless, she moves towards him, bending down slightly so she can put a hand on his shoulder.]

It's okay. [The taking it out on her part, at least. The rest... She doesn't quite know where to start addressing that, but:] You aren't stupid. And you... Okay, I shouldn't be telling you how to feel, but - I know you did everything you could.

[ he lets out a slow breath, and when he removes his hands his face looks perfectly blank, mask and all, even as he stares down at the floor. ]

Doesn't feel like it. [ it's said in a detached sort of fashion before he looks back at her ] Look, it doesn't matter. There are-- so many more important things going on than my, my-- my morality crisis.

You would never tell anyone else that their problems aren't important, right? It's like you said - we have plenty of time. And I know you said you hold yourself to a different standard, but...

[She moves her hand from his shoulder to try and grip one of his hands.]

It matters to me, because you matter to me.

[ he lets her, and squeezes her hand back with a hum. he's quiet for a bit, weighing his words. ]

... Thank you. Really. [ for caring? for her words? he's not sure. his smile's a little soft, a little sad. ] But there's not really anything anyone can do about-- this. [ his feelings? himself? he doesn't know. ] Lingering on it isn't helping anyone, least of all me. So I-- I'm trying not to. That's all.

Lingering on it might not be, but I get the feeling talking about it might help?

[Just in general.]

I just don't want you to... bottle stuff up, you know? And - I think you do.

I'm not going to try to deny that. [ it's a bit wry, considering he kind of. bottle exploded at her about two minutes ago. ] But what's there to even say about all this anymore? I, it's like I'm going in circles when I do.

pc catchall for dick (heh) (unpredicktable)

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