pc catchall for dick (heh) (unpredicktable)

[uncurtained]

shitpost incoming

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[uncurtained]

Fine. Okay, so when I was in undergrad... I have this friend named Peach, right? And sometimes she'll throw these huge parties at this house her parents own. Now, see, before college I lived on a pretty small island - well, I guess Nantucket actually exists where you're from. But it's a tourist trap, a pretty quiet place, so I'd never been to a party like the first one of hers I came to. And I... may have gone overboard, because I didn't know my own tolerance. I'll spare you the details, mostly because they're a little fuzzy, but - that night probably qualifies as the answer.

[unpredicktable]

[ in a sing-song: ]

Ha ha, you got was-ted. [ brat jokes aside-- ] That sounds about right for anyone at their first big party. Truth, by the way.

[uncurtained]

Oh? Would you know?

[she says, making fun of him for underage drinking after admitting to underage drinking]

Okay. Um... If you were reborn, what decade would you want to be born in?

[unpredicktable]

Me? Of course not. I'm a law-abiding citizen.

[ he literally wears a mask to fight crime, no one believes that. he pauses at the question and-- ]

2000s. [ if she maths his age, she'll know he was born in 99. he's the worst. ] After a week of it, I've decided the zero-technology life isn't for me.

[uncurtained]

Hmm.

[That noise is exaggerated, like she doesn't believe him, but as he moves on...]

Right? I never thought I would miss Twitter, but here we are. [That's probably not exactly what he was thinking about, but.] Truth, too.

[unpredicktable]

Maybe social media addiction is real.

[ he's willing to go along with it? ]

If you could have dinner with one famous person, living or dead, who would it be?

[uncurtained]

I might have a slight Facebook problem.

[She doesn't have to think about it for too long.]

Anne Sexton.

[unpredicktable]

The poet? [ huh. it makes sense, considering her profile, so-- ] Big inspiration for you? [ oh, right ] Truth, also.

[ has she noticed he's just copying her this whole time, like an asshole ]

[uncurtained]

[She nods.]

Yeah... When I started writing, I loved her style. Just, how vulnerable and honest it was. I don't know if you're a poetry person or anything, but - it's beautiful.

[She doesn't want to start rambling, though, so:]

Okay, um... Biggest guilty pleasure food.

[unpredicktable]

I'm familiar, but it's less a passion and more a... general education thing.

[ he's a bat, he has to know Everything. but to answer, he rubs the back of his neck ]

Uh... sugary cereals. The nutritional value of those little cereal marshmallows might be negative twenty, but I could probably eat a whole box.

[uncurtained]

...I'm having a hard time imagining it coming up in your work.

[She smiles, though.]

Just remember, Trix are for kids. Also, dare.

[unpredicktable]

That's what I said, but you'd be surprised how many criminals love making references to works of literature as a hint.

[ too many. anyway: ]

We're back to me as a rabbit? Just for that, dare you to act like your favorite animal for a minute.

[uncurtained]

Is it really my fault is you keep walking into it?

[Anyways. She's doing her best bird impression for a minute. She looks suitably embarrassed.]

[unpredicktable]

I'm gonna go with yes.

[ he doesn't laugh this time, but he is grinning the whole time, like an asshole. ]

Bird, huh? [ there's a sly undertone. he's. y'know. he's got a bird on his chest, of course he would. ] I guess it's my turn for a dare?

[uncurtained]

Not because of that.

[She thinks for a moment, before:]

Take a shot of pickle juice.

[unpredicktable]

[ he. hesitates ]

Uh. Do I just make a shot glass out of the pickle jar...?

[uncurtained]

You could just use a cup and pour a shot sized amount from the jar...?

[unpredicktable]

[ he. shrugs and proceeds to do that, taking out a pickle jar and pouring. some of the juice. into a cup. he offers her the open jar ]

Pickle?

[ before just. downing his glass and making a face, nose scrunched. ]

Ugh. How is this both better and worse than I thought it would be?

[uncurtained]

I'm good.

[She tries not to laugh as she watches him, though, biting her lower lip.]

There's a reason they don't sell it on its own, I'll say that much. [...] Truth.

[unpredicktable]

No kidding.

[ he's putting the pickle jar and also, very unsubtly, grabbing some orange juice to cleanse. plz save him

anyway; ]

If you were stuck on a deserted island-- what one thing would you bring with you?

[uncurtained]

At the risk of being predictable... Books.

[unpredicktable]

I'd bring a helicopter.

[ it's said brightly. because he's an asshole. ]

And if you had to pick just one?

[uncurtained]

Not everyone knows how to fly a helicopter.

[Check your privilege!!! But she pauses, thinking.]

That's like asking me to pick my favorite child. But okay, um... Bluets, by Maggie Nelson.

[unpredicktable]

Everyone should get on that, it's very helpful.

[ again, just. cheery tone. but. hm. ]

Any special significance to that one?

[uncurtained]

Are you going to pay for it, for everyone?

[She shrugs.]

Kind of. I don't want to give you my sob story, but I went through... kind of a bad break up recently, and it helped a lot. And her writing style is just - fantastic.