pc catchall for dick (heh) (unpredicktable)

[uncurtained]

shitpost incoming

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[unpredicktable]

I try to steer clear of dramatic irony.

[uncurtained]

I'll avoid talking about candelabras, then.

[But here they are at the kitchen!]

[unpredicktable]

Appreciate it. [ here they are at the kitchen and NO ONE DIED HERE, isn't that swell ] So, had anything in mind? I'll tell you right now, I am not a big cooking guy.

[ thats what having a butler does to you ]

[uncurtained]

[She tilts her head, thinking.]

I do make some mean pasta.

[unpredicktable]

It's no instant noodles, but I can help with that.

[ isnt he hilarious. no. ]

Where do you want me?

[uncurtained]

Now that it's free, I might as well take advantage of it. No more Kraft mac and cheese for me.

[She looks at him, and... Well, she tries not to smile to let on that she's joking, but she's not quite successful.]

Do you know how to boil water?

[unpredicktable]

[ dick can't fucking relate to poor people problems

he cracks a smile himself ]

I think I can manage that much, but I'll try not to overexert my capacities.

[ he goes to get a pot and, y'know, fill it with water to do that ]

[uncurtained]

[She's looking wherever the pasta is stored, but she glances his way as she tilts her head.]

Spaghetti or linguine? Speak now or forever hold your peace.

[unpredicktable]

You said it yourself, it's free. Go all out with the linguine.

[ there is no actual big price difference, dick. anyway filling up that pot doo doo doo ]

[uncurtained]

Expensive tastes, huh?

[She says, like linguine is super expensive. Anyways!! She starts pulling out an appropriate amount for two people.]

Is alfredo okay with you?

[unpredicktable]

We're splurging, aren't we?

[ yes. alfredo linguine. what a splurge ]

Sounds good.

[uncurtained]

I am not skilled enough to make the sauce from scratch, so unless you are... I guess the next step is waiting for the water to boil.

[unpredicktable]

Not without pulling up at least five different recipes from the Internet, I'm not.

[ he misses computers. so much. ]

A watched pot never boils, so-- wanna play twenty questions?

[ it's a joke. ]

[uncurtained]

[After a moment, and a small laugh:]

You joke, but it's not that bad an idea, even if it's a little bit high school. We don't know much about each other, though, apart from the superhero thing... What about truth or dare instead?

[unpredicktable]

Oh, because that's not high school? [ he leans back against the counter though, arms crossed ] But sure, why not? Ladies first.

[uncurtained]

Hey, I admitted it, didn't I?

[She pauses, then, before:]

Truth.

[unpredicktable]

Why "Beck"? Something you don't like about your first name?

[ it's a simple enough one she'd probably have answered if he'd asked, but. they're only just starting ]

[uncurtained]

It's just... I don't know, it always felt too formal. Almost stuffy, you know? And after people calling me Lady Guinevere as a joke for the thousandth time, I was pretty ready for a nickname.

[Anyways.]

Truth or dare?

[unpredicktable]

Kids can be cruel.

[ says the guy who-- would know considering he willingly goes by dick. ]

Truth.

[uncurtained]

I bet you've got your own experience with that.

[Since - yeah, that exactly. Since he went easy on her, though:]

If you could only watch one movie again for the rest of your life, which would you pick?

[unpredicktable]

Who, me? Why would I?

[ :)?

also bitch how is that easy you think i know movies

he. actually considers that one for a while ]

The Greatest Show On Earth.

[ yes he did just pick a circus movie from the 50s ]

[uncurtained]

[love u zia]

I don't think I've seen it. What's it about?

[unpredicktable]

It's an old classic... about a circus. [ he grins, a bit, because. he knows ] The guy who took me in is not the best at emotions. I guess he wanted to make me feel better when I looked homesick early on in our partnership? So we watched it together.

[uncurtained]

That's... kind of sweet. That he was trying, I mean.

[not that he adopted a child and taught him to fight crime when he was nine years old but you know]

Dare this time.

[unpredicktable]

Trying is definitely the word for it.

[ it's fine? wow? dick is so well-adjusted it's fine ]

Dare you to fill your mouth with water and sing your favorite song while gargling.

[ he's keeping it educational while also just making it incredibly stupid ]