pc catchall for dick (heh) (unpredicktable)

[uncurtained]

shitpost incoming

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[uncurtained]

[Considering how it went the last time she tried to console him, she seems more casual this time, but it's still sincere when she says:]

I'm sorry, Dick, that's... awful.

[She feels like that's more important than responding to his second statement, but:]

...Thanks.

[unpredicktable]

... Yeah. It is.

[ he can't disagree, can't even pretend he's fine about it! but this is kind of a. don't wanna talk about it bit still. this is now awkward ]

[uncurtained]

[She pauses for a moment, before:]

Hey, do you want to, like... [...] Okay, I know there's not really much to do here when you aren't balancing chairs on the table, but I feel like we could both use a distraction.

[unpredicktable]

[ he smiles at her. ]

You're right. On both counts. Unfortunately, I think a week of nausea is pushing it for acrobatic stunts. Anything else you had in mind?

[uncurtained]

I guess the lounge is probably out, but... There's always the kitchen. We could get something to eat.

[If either of them have an appetite, but.]

[unpredicktable]

Works for me. [ we will be ignoring all the blood in the hallways, and he gestures for her to go ahead before following ] Think there's any way we could get some board games in this place, at least?

[uncurtained]

[As she starts walking that way, also pointedly not looking at the blood:]

Are you a Scrabble guy, or is Monopoly more your style?

[unpredicktable]

[ EXTREMELY jovially: ]

I'm banned from Scrabble.

[uncurtained]

[She can't help but laugh a little, surprised.]

What did you do?

[unpredicktable]

I had a phase where I liked to deconstruct the English language a few years back. [ he says that like he. doesn't still do it? ] A lot of it stuck, but not nearly enough to make them any more willing to bend the Scrabble rules to accommodate me. And I'm multi-lingual, so. Scrabble was more like a war game at that point.

[ again. very proud of himself over this ]

[uncurtained]

Well, if we ever find a board, maybe I’d retract that ban. I bet I could give you a run for your money, as long as we’re just playing in English.

[unpredicktable]

It's a deal. [ and then-- ] Let's just steer clear of any CLUE board game we find.

[uncurtained]

[Despite herself, she smiles.]

A little too on the nose for you?

[unpredicktable]

I try to steer clear of dramatic irony.

[uncurtained]

I'll avoid talking about candelabras, then.

[But here they are at the kitchen!]

[unpredicktable]

Appreciate it. [ here they are at the kitchen and NO ONE DIED HERE, isn't that swell ] So, had anything in mind? I'll tell you right now, I am not a big cooking guy.

[ thats what having a butler does to you ]

[uncurtained]

[She tilts her head, thinking.]

I do make some mean pasta.

[unpredicktable]

It's no instant noodles, but I can help with that.

[ isnt he hilarious. no. ]

Where do you want me?

[uncurtained]

Now that it's free, I might as well take advantage of it. No more Kraft mac and cheese for me.

[She looks at him, and... Well, she tries not to smile to let on that she's joking, but she's not quite successful.]

Do you know how to boil water?

[unpredicktable]

[ dick can't fucking relate to poor people problems

he cracks a smile himself ]

I think I can manage that much, but I'll try not to overexert my capacities.

[ he goes to get a pot and, y'know, fill it with water to do that ]

[uncurtained]

[She's looking wherever the pasta is stored, but she glances his way as she tilts her head.]

Spaghetti or linguine? Speak now or forever hold your peace.

[unpredicktable]

You said it yourself, it's free. Go all out with the linguine.

[ there is no actual big price difference, dick. anyway filling up that pot doo doo doo ]

[uncurtained]

Expensive tastes, huh?

[She says, like linguine is super expensive. Anyways!! She starts pulling out an appropriate amount for two people.]

Is alfredo okay with you?

[unpredicktable]

We're splurging, aren't we?

[ yes. alfredo linguine. what a splurge ]

Sounds good.

[uncurtained]

I am not skilled enough to make the sauce from scratch, so unless you are... I guess the next step is waiting for the water to boil.